First comes love, then comes marriage…

I sat in a coffee shop in La Grange, carefully filling out page after page of paperwork. I used my best handwriting. I occasionally asked questions or double-checked details with Jon. Social security number, level of education, number of pets – all things I was prepared to answer. After almost two hours, I finally flipped to the last page and read this question:

“Why do you wish to be a foster or adoptive parent?”

It isn’t that I haven’t thought about it. As a matter of fact, it’s all I’ve thought about for months, ever since Jon and I said, “Let’s do this.” We have talked about fostering and adopting for years, since before we were married, since before we were even seriously dating. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, being asked why.

There’s just something about seeing it typed on a form, surrounded by factual questions and check boxes.

So here goes.

I have never really felt the urge to have a child biologically. Or, if so, it was short-lived. Maybe a month after Jon and I were married, my friend Ali and I talked about pregnancy and all the beautiful expectant mothers on our social media feeds. Ali looked me up and down, squinted a little, and shook her head.

“I can’t see you pregnant.”

Me neither. At least, not at this point in my life.

But I can see us with a child.

There is nothing so wonderful about my DNA that I feel the need to share with a child. The one thing that I do want to share can be found in Ephesians 1:

In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved.  In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight… In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory.

(Ephesians 1:4-8, 11-12)

We wish to become foster or adoptive parents because we feel called to respond to the Gospel in this way. We don’t know a lot yet, but we know that it will be a long process. We know that we will grieve and share in the grief of these children. We know that the devil will work to derail us at our weakest, most vulnerable moments.

But we also know that God is faithful.

He is faithful as we wait.

He will be faithful when we grieve.

And He was faithful long ago, when He gave His only Son to defeat sin, death, and the devil, so that we could not only be rescued but also become sons and daughters of a faithful Father.

Great is Thy faithfulness.

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One thought on “First comes love, then comes marriage…

  1. Pingback: WOMB, there it is. | married in ministry

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